Oh, Summer. You’ve almost come to an end. I’ve been dreaming of the days where I can wear scarves, boots, beautiful coats and cashmere ever since you began. I’ve been counting down until the moment where I can make gingerbread men, pumpkin pie and peppermint hot chocolate, until I can turn on the oven and relish in its warmth. Oh thank God you’re almost over. Do me a favor, tell Fall and Winter to bring me rain and windy days and maybe, hail and if I’m lucky, even snow.

It’s a lazy Sunday and you know what that means: baking! I decided to commemorate the end of Summer by baking a season appropriate treat, a mixed berry pie, more specifically, a citrus-scented mixed berry pie with an oatmeal lattice crust, courtesy of Epicurious via Bon Appétit magazine.

The recipe called for fresh fruit, but I only had a bag of frozen mixed berries from Trader Joe’s. I thawed and drained them for well over an hour and they almost looked fresh.

I made the crust myself as well. Making things from scratch for some reason, is just always more rewarding then buying store-made supples. It was a lot of hard work, but gratifying in the end. My favorite part of making pie crusts is slicing the lattices to put on top.

The last step was going over the lattice with a well-mixed egg and then sprinkling a bit of sugar on top. It was during this that I realized I hadn’t cross-hatched the pieces. Oh well.

Enjoy with a glass of cold milk or a cup of warm tea.

This week, I made the trek across town to take Henry to a physical therapy appointment, and I left with three different supplements, eight pages of physical therapy exercises, a dent in my credit card and one tired dog. Henry went through a thorough 2 hour exam where every part of his legs were checked. When we got home, he went straight to sleep. I really have my work cut out for me. In order to aid in his recovery from luxating patella surgery, Henry must take antioxidant supplements, fish oil as well as a pain/mood enhancing medication. His diet also needs to include only 50 percent commercial food and will be supplemented with various fruits, vegetables and spices. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t be feeding him any commercial food, but because I don’t have the time to cook for him, he does eat kibble and canned food. However, his food is always supplemented with vegetables and pure sources of protein, like chicken, beef and turkey. We make sure to cook for him as often as we can.

Henry’s therapist was the first professional I had met in the field of veterinary medicine that advocated the use of cooked meals and raw, organic foods in a dog’s diet. It was then, that I knew I had made the right choice to take him in for an exam. Every other vet I have spoken to or pet owners in general, usually don’t advocate the use of so called ‘human’ food in a dog’s diet. I always thought this was a ridiculous idea. Despite them being different, a dog’s nutritional needs are not that far off from a human’s. I feel sad for dogs who are always kept on dry kibble and never have the chance to experience the taste of foods that are good for them. What a boring palette. Food is the essence of life, in my opinion and should be enjoyable for humans and animals alike.

But, I digress. For the last 2 days I have been doing exercises with Henry when I’ve come home from work. These include short walks and a number of balance and flexibility exercises. Getting through all of them is hard. I am so tired by the end of it, not to mention stressed. I just can’t wait for him to fully recover. If I had the necessary funds, I would put him in the physical therapy program that the rehabilitation center offers, which includes 2 visits per week, but unfortunately, I don’t.

While we were there, Henry met a dachshund named Lily and he kept pulling on his leash to go play with her. When they took her away, he started to cry! My heart broke. He definitely needs a playmate and I look forward to the day when I can get him one.

It’s been a little over 5 weeks since his surgery, however we’ve got a long road ahead of us. One that involves much exercise, stressful days, sleepless nights and extra cuddles.

I woke up with a terrible headache this morning and when I took one look at Henry and saw how peacefully asleep he was, I knew I couldn’t get up, get dressed and fight the traffic to get to work. So I ended up staying home, nursing my head (and Henry) and cleaning my room up a bit. By the end of the day, I was feeling much better. It’s so nice to be home once in a while. My mind was so at ease. It was so nice being able to look outside at my garden, instead of the walls of the cubicle I sit in. It was so nice, that I decided to play photographer and took some photos of my usual subject, Henry.

Roaring white lion.

Henry was barking up a storm a couple minutes ago because he could smell that the neighbor’s had brought an unfamiliar dog into their backyard, probably just a pet of a visiting relative. He’s calmed down now, but he was being very annoying. This morning I let him out of his crate and he ran circles around the coffee table, an old habit he hasn’t been able to do for a month now. I tried to catch him as fast as I could, because he’s not meant to be running, but as per usual, he thought I was playing with him and proceeded to hop around as if you to say “catch me, if you can.”

I felt his fur today and he’s got more knots than you can imagine. I want to brush him, but I’m scared it might hurt his legs, so I’ve just let him be as frazzled as he wants to be.

This week, he’s got a physical therapy appointment, but I’m having some doubts about taking him in because he seems to be doing incredibly well and I would just hate to spend so much money on something I already know and can do at home. I’m not sure about that yet, but we’ll see.

This weekend we tried putting him in a bath full of water, with a towel around his waste, so he could exercise his legs, but he wanted no part of it at all. He was slightly terrified, even though I was with him and the water was warm. I finally managed to submerge him, but he froze and wouldn’t move. So I just ended up bathing him quickly and then taking a shower myself because I was drenched in water.

He is one tired furball. He still sleeps next to me, which he loves and I love a lot as well. Speaking of which, I think we will both be going to do that now. Au revoir!

Do you see this beautiful tuft of spinach above? I am shedding tears right now knowing that I grew this in my garden. No not really, but I am really proud of myself. I can’t believe I didn’t kill my plants! But wait, there’s more.

Tomatoes! Can you believe this? It looks like I do have a green thumb after all. I was so excited when I saw these little tomatoes. Currently, I have about 10 that will hopefully grow into nice, red robust tomatoes. It’s quite exciting. This is all it takes in life to make me happy. See how easily pleased I am?

Pomegranate! Oh wow so many exciting fruits and veggies. Unfortunately, this was the only fruit that the tree gave, but I don’t mind. Hopefully I can spend some time caring for it so it bears more fruit.

I was so excited about my edible garden that I planted oregano, basil and arugula, which have all sprouted. I honestly love the idea of growing my own food so much. If I had the time, energy and money, I would have a farm. I would love to grow sugar pumpkins to make pumpkin pie with and peppers. I have to say, that growing food is the only reason I love Southern California weather. Fruits and vegetables that regularly have a ‘season’ can be grown year round here because of the weather. It’s nice.

I can’t seem to write today. I’ve tried but I’ve rewritten a draft about three times. I’ve been listening to Mew all day long. I want to leave work and go have a boba while I work on my idea for a book. I want to have some tea and watch While You Were Sleeping. I want to knit a scarf and bake some cookies. I want to be in the garden, planting vegetables. I want to be playing piano while it’s raining outside. I want to organize my closet. I want to draw and listen to Mew all day long. I want to be anywhere but here, where I am now. Is that sad? I don’t think so. It’s the truth.

Don’t be back late, she said. Don’t worry if I am.

Well, I can’t believe it’s been an entire month since Henry had his luxating patella surgery. These 4 weeks not only have been hard on him because he’s been stuck in his crate, they have been incredibly hard on me as well. I haven’t gotten a decent night’s sleep, but this week has gotten better.

Henry was dropped off at the vet yesterday morning and I left work early to pick him up. Unfortunately, I was stuck in traffic for an hour and a half before I got to the vet. His x-rays revealed that he’s doing great and the vet even commented on what a great dog he is. His appetite has improved so drastically, you wouldn’t believe. He eats now because he wants to, not because he needs to and loves his dry and wet foods. I always sneak peppers and blueberries in there as treats.

He’s still on cage rest, although he’s allowed short, leashed walks during the day. I plan to do a little water therapy with him by filling up my bathtub and holding him up with a towel so he can exercise his legs. I have heard that water therapy is a great way to rehabilitate muscle, in humans as well. The vet also showed me to do additional therapy by having him lay on his back, while I stretch out his legs. I was also informed I should continue to give him pain medication. He doesn’t seem to be in any kind of pain, but I will comply.

His hair is growing back at a rapid pace, although he has so many knots because he hasn’t been able to be brushed properly for a month now! He’ll probably have a good shave once more of his hair grows in.

I have started him on glucosomine supplements again in pill form. I crush the pill with the back of a spoon or knife, mix it in with his wet food and he doesn’t even know the difference. One of the best treats I’ve ever found that has glucoasmine is by a company called Dogswell. They have these amazing sweet potato pieces wrapped with chicken that Henry loves. LOVES. He will fight you to the death for one. They also have one in their line called “Veggie Life” that contains flaxseed and vitamins A & E.

I haven’t had any time to take photos of his progress, but I will upload some soon.

A close friend of mine lost a loved one this week. You can be floating along in life, worrying about traffic, wondering if you’ll ever achieve anything, complaining you have nothing to wear, criticizing people and wishing the day would end, but all of that just means nothing when reality hits you and you realize you’ve lost someone you can’t live without. The room begins to spin and you can’t seem to contain emotion that you’ve trained yourself so well to hide.

Time becomes heavy and all you can do is wait for it to pass. It never gets easy. People say, I’m so sorry for your loss. They send cards and flowers and their condolences. Some of it helps, but it doesn’t take the pain away. Not completely anyway. I guess it’s just a part of life and like all other things, we must deal with it. We must deal with it.

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
that we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without affect,
without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you,
for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just around the corner.

All is well.

by Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)
Canon of St. Paul’s Cathedral

It’s so funny how dogs come into our lives. One minute they’re with their sisters or brothers or in a shelter or at an adoption agency and the next minute, they’re yours. Sometimes, when the entire house is quiet and I’m on my computer, sitting in the dark, as I am now, and Henry is lying beside me somewhere between dreaming of food and toys, I look at him and it amazes me that I can call him mine. This little dog is mine. When I talk about him, I say, “My dog, Henry.” That is just astonishing to me. I’m sure I sound weird to anyone who is reading this, but you don’t understand. My childhood wasn’t filled with actual pets, just the longing for pets, almost every day.

My parents never let me have a dog or cat, so I would spend my days catching ladybugs and lizards in the back yard to call my own. They finally relented and let me have goldfish, and these were not your ordinary goldfish. They were beautiful, with striking colors, big puffy heads and flowing tails. I had them for a couple years. Then one day, we went on vacation and I came back to find most of them dead. After my goldfish fiasco, I was granted ownership of two anole lizards I kept in a terrarium in my room. Every week, my mom and I would make the trek down to the pet store to buy a bag full of crickets to feed them. A couple would always get loose and make their way around the house.

The lizards were tropical and as such had to be occasionally sprayed with water. I would take their cage out every week and put them in the shade. One day, I left them out too long while I went to the store with my mom and came back to find them shriveled up and gasping for air. They both died. I ceremonially buried them under the oak tree. I was completely devastated. Having felt sorry for me, my parents gave me permission to get more lizards, but I didn’t want to have anything to do with them. It was enough of a traumatic experience that I couldn’t bare to think of having two more.

Year and years went by. Having a dog was a topic of conversation at least once a week in my house, but the end of it was always the same: It’s either me, or a dog, my mom would say.

Thinking back on it now, what a cruel thing to say to a kid. But she didn’t understand, and I don’t blame her. I loved animals more than life itself and she, well she didn’t.

It wasn’t until I graduated from university last year, that she ever gave serious thought to me having a dog. By then, it wasn’t her choice anymore. It was going to be her and the dog and there was nothing she could say or do. So she chipped in and paid for half of Henry. She even came with me to bring him home. Although she might not admit it, they have been best friends every since. She feeds him chopped pepper, he sits in her lap. She worries about him when we’re not home, he watches her cook. She calls him “our dog” and pats his head while he sleeps. They love each other.

Pets are such an important and enriching part of life. Looking back, I’m not sure how I went all those years without Henry. Everything in my life can be crumbling and when I take one look at him when I get home, all of that melts away and it’s just me and him, with his head resting upon my hand, comfortably. It’s where he belongs.

I’ve decided to go on a detox of sorts. This is not only something I want to do to get healthier, but really, it’s a test of my own will power. You see, trying to go on a diet, or detox is nothing new for me. I’ve tried many times, but I’ve never managed to do it all the way. In cases concerning diets, starting is definitely not the hardest part, it’s keeping it going until the end. The only time I managed to lose a significant enough amount of weight that people noticed was in my sophomore year of high school. That summer, I was inside, avoiding the heat and flipping through channels while conveniently sprawled out on my parents’ bed. By chance, I started watching a little old movie you might remember, by the name of “Center Stage.” If we’re going to hold it up to a bar ( no pun intended!), it’s definitely no where near a masterpiece. But nevertheless, it dealt with subject matter that I loved: ballet. That was all it took to get me to motivate myself to lose some weight. I not only watched what I ate, I took ballet classes once a week and walked the rest of the week. I think I lost 10 lbs by the time summer was over. But it didn’t last.

I’m not big by any means, really. I’ve got my height against me, because I’m short. If I was a few inches taller, I could eat whatever I wanted and not care. But unfortunately that’s not the case. Overall, I’d say I would like to and need to lose 15 lbs. Maybe 20.

I found a book I had bought years ago at a discount store called “Detox: Revitalize, Rejuvenate, Revive” by Sara Rose. The inner sleeve reads ” Do you ever feel that you body is tired of the fast food, quick snacks, free-flowing alcohol, choking cigarette smoke and constant stress that seems to be such a part of modern life?”

Yes, Sara, I do.

“If so, you will find within this book a complete guide to detox: the ancient practice by which you can cleanse your body of the toxins that leave you lazy and lethargic.”

Sara goes on to point out that the signs of toxic overload include dry, blotchy, spotty skin (check!), headaches (check!), lack of energy (check!), bloating and constipation (check!) and many more. There’s even a questionairre.

Do you feel tired when you wake up in the morning, even though you’ve had enough sleep? Yes.

Do you suffer from skin rashes, spots around the mouth or eczema? Yes.

Do you live or work in a city? Yes. I love how this is an indication of toxic overload.

Do you have mood swings. Yes, but then again, who doesn’t?

Do you crave certain foods, such as candy or bread? Totally.

Anyway, you get the picture. I’m full of toxins. I’m on toxic overload. I’m infected.

So, I’m going to detox. Whether I will succeed remains to be seen. I hope I make it across the toxic bridge to come out on the other side feeling better, healthier and accomplished. Sara recommends that I not eat any products that contain wheat, cow’s milk, tea, coffee, chocolate or alcohol. Wait a minute, tea?! I love tea. My day does not start or end without a cup of tea. How can this be, Sara? Well, she goes on to say that I can have herbal and green tea. I guess I can make do. She also suggests to replace sugar with pure organic honey or maple syrup.

So what can I eat? Apple, artichoke, asparagus, broccoli, carrot, cranberry, fennel, garlic, ginger, lemon and yogurt are all considered detox superfoods. She recommends blue-green algae, coenzyme Q10, dandelion, kelp and milk thistle as detox supplements.

This morning, I woke up and drank a glass of hot water with the juice of half a lemon squeezed in. This apparently helps flush out your liver. My breakfast consisted of maple pecan granola, with fat free vanilla yogurt and a sliced up saturn or “donut” peach and some grapes. It was delicious. I didn’t eat bread, or butter or honey, and although the yogurt is made from cow’s milk, it’s still a step in the right direction. I feel good.

Fruit Granola

2 – 3 tablespoons of Trader Joe’s Maple Pecan Granola

4 oz cup of Dannon Light & Fit Vanilla Yogurt

1 Saturn peach, sliced

Handful of grapes