Before I graduated with a journalism degree almost two years ago, this little space of mine on the world wide web was just a place where I could share my thoughts, my likes and dislikes and the events which occurred on a daily basis. After I received my B.A, the thoughts I had about this blog began to change. I started to think more about what I was putting out there for the world to see. I began to worry about the topics I was discussing and the caliber of my writing. I thought up ways I could make this place better. I was rarely getting comments, so I might as well have just deleted everything I wrote and not look back. This was my thought process.

For a long time I didn’t write, or started to, but immediately erased my post, feeling self-conscious about everything I did here. I would look at websites like Dooce and try to figure out ways to achieve the same kind of popularity. Other times, I would consider converting my amalgam of posting topics into one niche idea that I would concentrate on, like journalism or food.

But the thing is, I’m not just about journalism or food, though they are perhaps my two biggest passions. I am about so many other things too. I slowly  began to realize that I could never fit into a niche. This is why this blog is called “writepudding.” Not only is it a play on “rice pudding,” but it allows me to write about whatever I like, just like a pudding allows you to put in so many different and versatile ingredients.

The same inner struggles I experience with this blog, are the same ones I have about my professional career as a writer. There are times when I am so overwhelmed. There are days when I dream about leaving the city and renting a log cabin in Wisconsin just so I can think and write and write and think – just so I can clear out my mind and come up with an amazing idea for a novel. Then, there’s every day of my life, when I drive by the Los Angeles Times building in downtown, on my way to Santa Monica, wishing and hoping that I will have the chance to work there some day and wishing and hoping that that day was already here.

One thing is for sure – to be in this profession, either a journalist or a writer, the only thing that keeps you going is passion – because it sure as hell isn’t the money, or the perks, or the praise or the hours, because they all suck. You have to constantly reinvent yourself, your ideas, your skills and underneath it all, if you don’t have a burning fiery passion for it, it will fizzle out sooner than you can say “I’ve had enough.”

I don’t think I will ever have enough.