1. Post incessant and unnecessary status updates. Case in point: Alice is going home! Lucy is waiting for her hubby to get home so they can have dinner! Bob is so bored. No really. Bob is completely bored. John is watching t.v. after having lunch. Newsflash: I don’t care. I don’t care what that you’re going home or that you are so bored that you have to take the time to log onto Facebook to tell your friends that you are, infact, bored. Also, although I’m a huge foodie, I’m not particularly interested that you had a sandwich today or made yourself a healthy omelette in the morning. NO ONE cares.

2. Constantly confess your love to your significant other/best friend/sister/nephew/lover. This is like virtual PDA, and if you didn’t know, PDA’s are generally considered to be bad taste. The same rules apply for the internet. I do not want to hear about how much you love your “hubby” or that you miss your sister so much that you’re going to spontaneously combust and cry or that  you love your wife so much that you insist on leaving messages on her  page professing your affections, even though she is probably in the next room.

3. Connecting your Twitter account to your Facebook account and updating your status about 20 to 30 times a day. Repeat after me: Twitter is not Facebook, and Facebook is not Twitter. They are not interchangeable. Please do not take over my feed with your unnecessary updates and @replies.

4. Application requests. I’m not really interested in knowing which character I am from Twilight or how eco-friendly I am or what Sex and the City profile I fit best. Believe me, if I wanted to know, I would have taken the quiz or installed the app without any incentive from you.

5. Baby photos. This is perhaps one of the most annoying things you can do in LIFE.  Baby photos are  seriously the bane of my existence. And I’m not talking about the occasional upload or one album dedicated to your child. I am talking about endless uploads and endless albums documenting every waking, sleeping, burping, farting, tumbling moment of your toddler’s life. It gets worse when parents start discovering that they can upload mobile photos and then next thing you know, you log onto Facebook to discover your entire feed populated with useless photos of a child from 20 different angles. Oh, what’s that you say? There are fuzzy photos in the bunch? Why OF COURSE you should upload them, why deprive the world of a photo of your little angel, even though it’s blurry. What could be worse than baby photos? Oh I know, how about the comments people leave on them. “He’s growing up so fast!” “OMGOMGOMG can be be ANY cuter?” “I can’t wait to have one of my own!” Please - for the love of God, CAN IT.