Before I go any further, I’d like to point out that I feel a range of emotions about the things I do while navigating the Los Angeles freeway system every day. Sometimes I do them out of necessity, other times for fun and mostly so that I do not die of boredom or purposely drive my car off the 405, because that thing, you know, that thing you call a FREEway in other states, is really just another word for PARKING LOT in L.A. and I need to stay sane for the love of all that is holy.

Things I’ve done while driving:

1. Makeup - this includes and is not limited to: concealer, foundation, powder, mascara, blush, eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara

2. Nail polish - clear coat, top coat and everything in between. So sue me. I’ve also taken it off.

3. Filed my nails - You would too if you were traveling at 10 mph for about 30 minutes.

4. Plucked my eyebrows - You know when you leave your house in the morning and you take a quick look at yourself in the bathroom and decide you feel  ok? Well to ensure that you feel like shit from the moment you step foot in your car until you come home, auto makers have the audacity to put mirrors inside cars that show you at your absolute worst and bring all the faults you have in your face to the surface. This is bad when you’re trying to look and feel good. This is good when you haven’t had time to groom your face and your eyebrows are beginning to look like they belong to Groucho Marx, because those mirrors show every last inch of everything on your face that doesn’t belong there.

5. Eaten an assortment of breakfast products (including yogurt - with a SPOON!) along with many hundreds of thermoses filled with tea

6. Read - I kid you not. One time I got so bored that I whipped out a book while I was stuck on the bridge that connects the 10 east to the 405 north.

7. Fallen asleep - This used to happen to me a lot while I driving home from school after a 10 hour day of classes, stories to edits and write and the heat of the Valley. And mostly because the scenery driving out of the Valley was so damn boring. Fortunately, the freeways I took were mostly empty and I did a good job of jolting myself back to life.

8. Written emails and responded to them.

9. Sung “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston at the top of my lungs.

10. Rolled my windows down and blasted “This Charming Man” by the Smiths.

11. Listened to “All Things Considered” and other various programs on NPR as well as “Morning Becomes Eclectic” on KCRW for the past six years. This has resulted in an undying love for the reporters and hosts who work at NPR and exposure to a whole lot of amazing music that I wouldn’t have heard otherwise.

12. Gotten horribly lost. The worst was when I dropped off a friend at her house in North Hollywood, an area I was completely unfamiliar with. I spent two hours trying to extract myself from the area (and inadvertently drove through frightening looking cities) until I found a freeway that I recognized. Needless to say, I saw more of L.A than I ever wanted to that day.

13. Ran out of oil. I don’t even know how this happened since I regularly take my car for oil changes, but on a windy Spring day in Northridge, Calif. I walked across the street from a parking lot to a gas station, bought oil as per the instructions given by my dad ( who else was I going to call), opened the hood of my car - a sight which I had never seen before and changed my oil. Except, I wouldn’t call it “changing” because there wasn’t any oil in there for me to change. I guess pouring oil into a vessel is appropriate.

14. Shouted obscenities at overbearing, obnoxious and cheesy radio hosts, complete with hand gestures.

15. Over analyzed events, conversations and my future to the point of insanity. When you have almost an hour and a half to spare in the mornings and a hour at night sitting idly in the car, your mind tends to drift, a lot. I wouldn’t say this isn’t always a negative thing. The time I have to just think in the car has helped me resolve things in my head, as well as given birth to new ideas, which I probably would not have thought up if I didn’t spend so much time in my car.

In my defense, I want to point out that in the eight years that I have been driving, I have only received two tickets, one of which was issued because of a traffic camera (lame). I have never gotten into an accident (except once when I slightly bumped the car infront of me that resulted in absolutely nothing) or into an argument with another driver. Plus, most of the above activites are done in traffic that is barely moving, which allows me to concentrate for a couple of seconds at a time on other things while I’m in the car. I’m actually a pretty good driver if I do say so myself, even if I multitask while on the road.