Watch This: Love Is All There Is

Stop everything you’re doing. Leave work. Put the croissant you’ve stuffed in your mouth down. Get out of that shower as fast as you can, because I’m about to tell you about something great, about something more than great, about something that will BLOW YOUR MIND. Are you sitting down? I hope so, because you need to absorb all the awesomeness of an amazing piece of cinema called “Love is All There Is” starring an obscure  and demure actress by the name of Angelina Jolie. Heard of her? Didn’t think so.

“Love is All There Is” is a spin on the classic  Romeo and Juliet tale, except for the fact that its set in  Bronx in the 90s ( can you smell the cheese yet?). Lainie Kazan from My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Joseph Bologna ( from the best movie ever made, Blame It On Rio) star as the Cappamezzas, a Bronx-born Sicilian husband and wife who own a catering business. And oh, what a catering business it is.

Imagine every single thing you could put together at a wedding that would fall into the category of bad taste. Fog machines, overdone humongous cakes, disco balls, hundreds of balloons, a cheesy band dressed in all white-the possibilities are really endless. This is the service the Cappamezzas provide and they’re pretty good at it too, that is, until the Malacicis, (Paul Sorvino and Barbara Carrera) the Italian couple from Florence who are the epitome of wealth and prestige arrive in their humble neighborhood and turn the crass to class with their elegant decorations, fine Italian menus and classical music.

The Cappamezzas and Malacicis soon transform themselves into the dueling Capulets and Montagues and as predicted, their son Rosario (Nathaniel Marston) falls head over heels in love with the Malacici’s daughter, Gina a.k.a. Angelina Jolie, after she replaces the lead in the church’s production of, you guessed it, “Romeo and Juliet.” She is just as enamored with Rosario and one thing leads to another until both pairs of parents find out that the two teenagers have done the unthinkable - committed suicide. Just kidding! The unthinkable in this case would be sex.

The film is filled with other colorful characters, including a wacky psychic that Rosario’s mother looks to for information, the well endowed bride above and local teenage girls who give Gina sex advice.

I know what you’re thinking- “What a crappy, badly-written 90s comedy.” Well, in the broader sense you’re right, but throw your cultural compass out the window for now. “Love is All There Is” is laugh out loud funny and terrible under-appreciated. Whether you’re laughing at something that’s actually humorous, or you’re laughing to keep from crying about how bad it is, it doesn’t matter. The point is, it will make your day better. It’s the kind of film that you happen to come upon at 9 p.m. on a Saturday night when you’re bored out of your mind and your head is telling you tos “change the channel NOW,” but you can’t, because it’s just so good. or bad. Or so bad that it’s good.

“You didn’t have sex did ya?”

“No, they were bobbing for apples.”

Photos© 1999 The Samuel Goldwyn Company