Sometimes I love sitting on the cool kitchen floor, when the entire house is silent and the crickets outside make me feel like I live in the countryside, instead of Los Angeles, even for a few minutes. The ground is white marble and invitingly cool in this summer heat. I’ve been home for five hours, yet taking off my shoes hasn’t crossed my mind yet. If I let them stay on any longer, they might just permanently become molded to my feet. Henry the Maltese is of course, right beside me, chomping away on some iceberg lettuce.
It’s the first time in a while I feel like my mind is almost crystal clear. It feels nice. The wind blowing in from the half-opened window over the sink is making things better. I hate and love being tired all at the same time. It makes me feel useful and accomplished, yet tonight, I feel its effects all over my body - not a good feeling in the least bit.
In a few days, August will settle in. More than half a year gone. I have begun vividly remembering the last few years, moreso than I ever did when I was younger. This year, I remember Disneyland on New Year’s Eve, my sister’s Alice in Wonderland themed birthday party, London in March - moments that I wish were frozen in time. I remember the excitement I felt that I was going to have an article published in print. My name. In print. On actual paper. In a magazine. You can’t imagine how that feels for a writer. I remember the Sookie Stackhouse explosion that sort of took over my life, the films I wrote about, albeit self-consciously. I remember arguments and laugh out loud moments and more hours spent in traffic than I would ever like to admit. Perhaps my proudest moment this year, I remember all the time and energy I put in to produce this here ezine and the amazing response I’ve received so far. I remember contemplating about going back to school - a thought which crosses my mind every day, but not applying because of the fear of not being accepted - I’m still working on getting over this.
Half the year is gone, and though there are hundreds of things I should have done, could have done and wished I would have done, I’ve come out pretty unscathed. Here’s to hoping the rest of the year is better.






























