In an interesting turn of events last night, I went to see the film “Twilight,” which as I’m sure you all know, is the silver screen version of the best-selling books by Stephenie Meyer. I was waiting until I had finished the first book, but when I cracked it open and read the first 20 pages, I wasn’t very inspired to keep reading a 500 or so page book, so I put it down. I came to to the conclusion last night though, that if I was waiting to finish the first book in a four book series before I saw the film, I probably would not end up seeing it before it came out on DVD.
So I went, I saw, I conquered. My verdict? Well, where do I begin? On one hand, after attending movie screenings comprised of journalists for the last year, I had forgotten what a “real” movie experience was like so to speak, and that included all the annoyances that accompanied seeing a film with people who were seeing it for nothing more than entertainment value, as opposed to writing about it. If it wasn’t the overly immature row of boys in the back ( who had been dragged to the film by a female friend), it was the woman who sat directly in front of me with a humongous afro. Note to movie-goers, the movie theatre is not your personal living room. Sit down, shutup, turn your cell phone off and for God’s sake, if your hair is on a stairway to heaven, pull it back or sit in the back. Your choice.
After quite a few irritations, the movie began and I really did not have expectations that swung one way or the other. Based on the few pages that I had read, I really felt like I was going to be quite sarcastic about it all, and for the first half of the film, I was. The dialogue wasn’t that great, the interactions between supporting characters and certain scenes were completely laughable (a glistening Edward looking like more like a Swarovski model than a vampire), when they were clearly not meant to be. These small details, although oblivious perhaps to a long time teenage fan, were standing out to me, and I suppose I can credit that to the movie reviews I’ve done. I had built up tolerance for overlooking certain things. But as the film progressed, and the relationship between Bella and Edward became more apparent and intense, I was drawn in, so much so that if you look at my desktop now, as embarrassing it is to admit, it’s wallpaper from the movie featuring Edward.
By the time it ended, I was wrapped up in the film. From the gorgeous scenery of Washington - which by the way, is looking more and more like my kind of state because of its green qualities and frequent gray days and rain, to Robert Pattinson and the entire Cullen family, it would be safe to say that I enjoyed the film, at least the second half immensely.
As time has passed, there have been a few things on my mind regarding the film, the author and the entire genre of vampire love stories.
I think part of the reason I really enjoyed the film and have spent more than half of my Sunday reading the book is because as silly it is to say, vampire stories intrigue me (and the rest of the country as well, apparently). If you ask any of my friends, I was completely obsessed with “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel” throughout junior high and high school. I never missed an episode, had official books that correlated to the television series and collected photos in a memory book of scenes from the show and the actors who portrayed all of my favorite characters. When Buffy sent Angel to hell, I cried. When they told of his origins, I watched more intensely than before. When they consummated their relationship, my life became complete. I followed up my vampire obsession with “Blade,” “Queen of the Damned,” “Interview With the Vampire” and “Dracula.” When I was in my freshman year of college, I used my break time between classes to scour the video catalogue in the library and ended up watching “Nosferatu” alone, on the second floor, with humongous earphones on.
It was glorious.
Vampires and films about them have always been a part of many cultures worldwide. What it is about them that fascinates us so much? Or fascinates teenage girls, who are longing for an impossible love story, so much? It’s amazing how the idea of vampires are so intertwined with sexuality. The obsession with them wont end anytime soon.
For Stephenie Meyer, she was just in the right place at the right time. I kept wondering how it was possible for a 30-something housewife from Utah to dream, write and get a publishing deal for a book in the span of six months, when I was sitting here, lulling over how I would even begin to think of something original and eloquent that a publishing house or literary agent would be inclined to like and Stephenie Meyer comes along and defies all odds and now she’s a bonafide author and millionaire. It just baffles me. She really was in the right place at the right time. There was a wide open space left for her, after Buffy wrapped up, for her to descent and continue the vampire genre. Anne Rice had been quiet for some time as well and as far as I know, no other vampire movies were in the works. The only other vampire-themed work I can think currently is the “True Blood” television series based on the books by Charlaine Harris. “True Blood” is doing immensely well on HBO, and they probably have this sudden resurgence of interest in vampires and “Twilight” to thank.
As of now, I’m halfway finished with the “Twilight.” I imagine I’ll be done with it in a couple of days, at the rate I’m going. Although not in any way a literary masterpiece, it’s a good read, a good read that I’ve totally been sucked into.
If you’ve switched on your television in the last couple of weeks, chances are you’ve seen the VW commercials for their newest model, the Routan, starring none other than actress Brooke Shields. In them, Shields is meant to tell a sarcastic, yet riveting and monumental story about how there is an incredible baby boom taking place all over the country, because people are looking for an excuse to buy the Routan, which is being billed more or less as a family vehicle
In the commercial, Shields says things like “women everywhere are having babies just to get the new VW Routan and “Remember, have a baby for love, not for German engineering,” while she confronts pregnant couples and asks the public for help to conduct this “growing epidemic.”
I get it. It’s meant to be funny and satirical, and forgive me if I’m taking this too seriously, but it seems a bit distasteful to me. The main reason being that this is a woman who suffered from postpartum depression and wrote a book called “Down Came the Rain” that detailed her experiences with the illness.
So to hear her try to give the subject of having babies for “German engineering” a funny spin, is perhaps the unfunniest thing of all.
Maybe I’m being too harsh. Maybe it’s because I hate car commercials in general, that I can’t stand a celebrity-endorsed one even more. I’m not sure. This isn’t even against VWs, as I drive one and have ever since I got my license. I just know I feel really uneasy hearing her talk about babies when I know what she went through in her personal life.
Either way, I hate gimmicks like this to sell cars. Instead of using Brooke Shields, why doesn’t VW choose to talk about how they’re trying to combat global warming by developing alternative energy vehicles? Surely, the era of celebrity endorsements is on the decline. I hope.
You know sometimes when something is so wonderfully great that you can justify calling it a masterpiece? This is exactly how I feel about the magnificence that is “Blame it on Rio.”
Before I actually tell you about “Blame it on Rio,” let’s discuss how I discovered it. It was June 2008, and both Nathalie and I rushed home from work to help my sister get ready for Prom. After all the makeup and hair and jewelry was over and done with, we were to head over to UCLA to watch Djivan Gasparyan and Michael Brook perform. I was excited to be going, not only because I was reviewing the event, but because Djivan Gasparyan is one of my favorite musicians and I was especially proud he was appearing here because he’s Armenian. To make a long story short, the traffic coupled with the twisty turvy campus of the Bruins pretty much guaranteed that we were going to miss the performance. And we did. Oh, we so did. We drove down Sunset and almost an hour later, we finally reached the super market by my house where we decided to pick up some dinner before going home. Lo and behold, in the $5 bin, in between a Hello Kitty movie and Jerry Maguire lay “Blame it on Rio,” the greatest movie ever made. Nat ranted and raved about how we need to buy this immediately and watch it tonight because the contents of that plastic box were sheer genius.
At that point, I was up for anything, so I relented. We bought the DVD, our food and made our way home. Little did I know what was in store for me. Little did I know, that Blame it on Rio would be the end all be all of my existence.
“She’s the hottest thing on the beach. She’s also his best friend’s daughter!” so goes the tagline for this 1984 film that stars Michael Caine, Joseph Bologna, Valerie Harper, Michelle Johnson and a young Demi Moore. Directed by Stanley Donen perhaps known for directing such classics as the original 1967 Bedazzled, Charade, Singin’ in the Rain and the timeless “Lionel Richie Collection.”
“Blame it on Rio” tells the story of two best friends, Matthew Hollins (Caine) and Victor Lyons (Bologna), who decide to take a vacation to Rio, Brazil with their two teenage daughters. With Victor involved in a divorce and Matthew experiencing certain marital troubles of his own, the two decide to go it alone with their daughters, Jennifer (Johnson) and Nicole (Moore), otherwise affectionately known as Nikki.
Matthew is at times, a socially awkward man. With his fogged up glasses and curly adolescent hair Matthew feels uneasy most of the time, especially around the scantily clad women of Brazil. Victor on the other hand, is a take life by the horns type of guy. His dark, healthy and abundant head of hair proves it. Still, they’re a great pair together, even Eduardo, their next door neighbor thinks so.
Eduardo Marques: You are, how you say, the queer couple?
Matthew Hollis: Odd couple, odd.
Oh Matthew, this back handed insult is the least of your worries. Let’s talk about Jennifer, shall we? A typical teenager, Jennifer’s overly processed poufy hair, braces and goofy phrases do not at all match her curvaceous figure, which is used to its full potential in Rio, as it seems that Brazilians are immune to any kind of clothing that remotely covers their bits and parts.
When Matthew, his daughter Nikki, Jennifer and Victor attend an impromptu Brazilian wedding, the sparks that begin to fly are not only reserved for the bride and groom. Over come by desire and the all around air of Rio, Jennifer and Matthew consumate their relationship, or lack thereof on the beach, even with the 28-year age difference. Ah, as they say, love knows no age. Except this isn’t love. This is teenage lust, which, although its origins are unknown in this case, can only be blamed on one thing: Rio!
Jennifer Lyons: Kiss me!
Matthew Hollis: Kiss you? I ought to spank you!
Jennifer Lyons: Oh, please, and bite me too!
What ensues here after is nothing particularly special in terms of plot, however the execution is what makes this film ensure a place in my heart for eternity. Jennifer, desperate to get Matthew to love her, visits a mystic, surprises him when she can and constantly tries to grope him under the table, all within close distance of her oblivious father. Matthew, torn between the raw desire he has for Jennifer and his moral code (she is, after all, the same age as his daughter), becomes more a nervous wreck, and therefore hilarious, than ever before. When Jennifer decides to tell her father about the boy (errr..man) she slept with (”But Daddy, I loooooove him!!”), Matthew, over hearing the conversation in the next room, tries to pack his suitcase and escape out the window.
Victor: You can’t go!
Matthew: I’ll be back but I have to go first.
Unsuspecting Victor enlists the help of Matthew to track down whoever it is that has de-virginized his daughter, and between the Brazilian backdrop, cheesy 80’s sound affects and scenarios and Michael Caine, “Blame it on Rio!” is everything you’ve ever wanted and more. If you’re ever feeling down in the dumps, this is the movie for you. The sheer ridiculousness of it, coupled with the insanely infectious, completely off-key and ludicrous title song will have you in hysterics.
Matthew: You only live once, but it does help if you get to be young twice.
What if we broke a few rules, acted like fools, what do weeee careeeeee, BLAME IT ON RIOOOOO!
