Traffic Thoughts: Please Let Me Get What I Want

• I have seen such ridiculous bumper stickers in the last few weeks, that I’ve taken to keeping track of them in the notes app of my iPhone. My favorites: “It’s the law…stick it in,” “Please say NO to circumcision” and wait for it - “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.” I don’t know which to laugh about more, the fact that someone bought these stickers or the fact that someone made them. Oh dear.
• Every once in a while when things calm down and I have time to think, I think of Michael Jackson and I am utterly shocked all over again about his death. I still can’t believe it.
• I have been furiously working on  my side project, which I’m hoping will one day develop into a sort of full time project, my Armenian online magazine “ianyan.” Things are going quite well, better than I expected and the feedback has been immensely positive. It’s so hard as a one woman show, and I wish I had a list of contributors, but for now I’m a lone wolf.
• I have been making strides in my journalism/writing goals of this year - I’ve had pieces published in both print and online and have a few more that I’m working on, but I need and want more.
• It would be a dream to be able to write or blog for the Los Angeles Times, New York Mag or LA Weekly. I’m working on it!
• Henry the Maltese has a new obsession in the form of lettuce. He goes nuts for it. No, really. He even hides it and eats it in private. What a strange dog I have.
• I can’t wait for The Real Housewives of Atlanta because I’ve been going through Nene withdrawals. I need this fierce bitch in my life. I also need to take “keeping it real” lessons from Nene.
• I am getting antsy about my hair. I’m due a haircut and I have this idea in my head to go back to my natural color along with a lighter color for summer, but I’m dreading the hours upon hours I would have to spend at a salon. And let me remind you, there is really only one salon I can go to, since every other place has no idea how to deal with the thick ass mop on my head properly. Middle Eastern women can feel my pain.
• Despite all the stress, frustration, lack of sleep I’ve had, I am so looking forward to the near future. My life will change in more ways than one, in fact it wont be just “my” life, but our life. Thinking about this makes me want to put on Ferris Bueller and sing “Please, please, please let me get what I want” by The Smiths. Lord knows, it would be the first time.

Traffic Thoughts: Tears and Fears

On the 10 east, heading home. Yes, I am crazy and take photos while driving.

• I haven’t been able to think much during traffic for the past couple weeks because it’s been actually pretty good. I’m sure it has everything to do with Spring break and absolutely nothing to do with the way Angelenos drive.
• What I have been thinking about and actually doing is contacting magazines, newspapers and other various publications about freelance work. I have one copy editing stint and article coming up, which I couldn’t be more ecstatic about, but getting editors to email back is like pulling teeth sometimes. I know, because I am one.
• The cultural studies section of the bookstore is now my new favorite section.
• I’m excited about Easter, and that excitement has absolutely nothing to do with the religious connotations, but more with the fact that I get to dye and paint eggs.
• Taxes went well for me this year, which was  a relief from the arm and leg I had to pay last year.
• Every time my shoes come into close contact with another animal, be it dog or cat, rest assured, I will find Henry marking his territory on them if I leave them on the floor.
• Sometimes I wish I was working at a bakery.
• Other times, like this week, I write and read to keep from crying.
• I saw a license plate that said “foolery” today. It was awesome.
• What I want for my future and what will be my future might be two different things, and that scares me.
• When I hear stories about animals having to be given up at shelters because of the recession, I can’t help but get teary-eyed.
• I am afraid that there will be a big earthquake in Southern California soon.
• I’m also afraid about the state of journalism.
• I wish my thoughts were longer than a sentence.

Things I’ve Done While Driving

Before I go any further, I’d like to point out that I feel a range of emotions about the things I do while navigating the Los Angeles freeway system every day. Sometimes I do them out of necessity, other times for fun and mostly so that I do not die of boredom or purposely drive my car off the 405, because that thing, you know, that thing you call a FREEway in other states, is really just another word for PARKING LOT in L.A. and I need to stay sane for the love of all that is holy.

Things I’ve done while driving:

1. Makeup - this includes and is not limited to: concealer, foundation, powder, mascara, blush, eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara

2. Nail polish - clear coat, top coat and everything in between. So sue me. I’ve also taken it off.

3. Filed my nails - You would too if you were traveling at 10 mph for about 30 minutes.

4. Plucked my eyebrows - You know when you leave your house in the morning and you take a quick look at yourself in the bathroom and decide you feel  ok? Well to ensure that you feel like shit from the moment you step foot in your car until you come home, auto makers have the audacity to put mirrors inside cars that show you at your absolute worst and bring all the faults you have in your face to the surface. This is bad when you’re trying to look and feel good. This is good when you haven’t had time to groom your face and your eyebrows are beginning to look like they belong to Groucho Marx, because those mirrors show every last inch of everything on your face that doesn’t belong there.

5. Eaten an assortment of breakfast products (including yogurt - with a SPOON!) along with many hundreds of thermoses filled with tea

6. Read - I kid you not. One time I got so bored that I whipped out a book while I was stuck on the bridge that connects the 10 east to the 405 north.

7. Fallen asleep - This used to happen to me a lot while I driving home from school after a 10 hour day of classes, stories to edits and write and the heat of the Valley. And mostly because the scenery driving out of the Valley was so damn boring. Fortunately, the freeways I took were mostly empty and I did a good job of jolting myself back to life.

8. Written emails and responded to them.

9. Sung “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston at the top of my lungs.

10. Rolled my windows down and blasted “This Charming Man” by the Smiths.

11. Listened to “All Things Considered” and other various programs on NPR as well as “Morning Becomes Eclectic” on KCRW for the past six years. This has resulted in an undying love for the reporters and hosts who work at NPR and exposure to a whole lot of amazing music that I wouldn’t have heard otherwise.

12. Gotten horribly lost. The worst was when I dropped off a friend at her house in North Hollywood, an area I was completely unfamiliar with. I spent two hours trying to extract myself from the area (and inadvertently drove through frightening looking cities) until I found a freeway that I recognized. Needless to say, I saw more of L.A than I ever wanted to that day.

13. Ran out of oil. I don’t even know how this happened since I regularly take my car for oil changes, but on a windy Spring day in Northridge, Calif. I walked across the street from a parking lot to a gas station, bought oil as per the instructions given by my dad ( who else was I going to call), opened the hood of my car - a sight which I had never seen before and changed my oil. Except, I wouldn’t call it “changing” because there wasn’t any oil in there for me to change. I guess pouring oil into a vessel is appropriate.

14. Shouted obscenities at overbearing, obnoxious and cheesy radio hosts, complete with hand gestures.

15. Over analyzed events, conversations and my future to the point of insanity. When you have almost an hour and a half to spare in the mornings and a hour at night sitting idly in the car, your mind tends to drift, a lot. I wouldn’t say this isn’t always a negative thing. The time I have to just think in the car has helped me resolve things in my head, as well as given birth to new ideas, which I probably would not have thought up if I didn’t spend so much time in my car.

In my defense, I want to point out that in the eight years that I have been driving, I have only received two tickets, one of which was issued because of a traffic camera (lame). I have never gotten into an accident (except once when I slightly bumped the car infront of me that resulted in absolutely nothing) or into an argument with another driver. Plus, most of the above activites are done in traffic that is barely moving, which allows me to concentrate for a couple of seconds at a time on other things while I’m in the car. I’m actually a pretty good driver if I do say so myself, even if I multitask while on the road.

Traffic Thoughts: It’s Been a While

• Perhaps the biggest reason I haven’t done a “traffic thoughts” in while is a little known culprit that goes by the name of Twitter. I spent more time on it than I’d like to admit, but it’s a great place and frankly, I’m really puzzled by people who “don’t get it.”
• I finally finished reading Ray Bradbury’s “Fahrenheit 451″ and thought it was an incredibly amazing book and concept. The idea of books no longer existing is frightening. What was more interesting than the actual book was an explanation at the end of how Bradbury went about writing it. Apparently, he couldn’t find any quiet time at home, so he found some space in the basement of the UCLA library where he paid to use the typewriter to churn it out. If you have an affinity for books, I would definitely recommend reading it. It’s also a good palette cleanser after reading the hot mess otherwise known as the Twilight series. Trust.
• I ranted briefly about it on Twitter today, but I have absolutely had it with people imitating others and stealing ideas, mostly because it’s been happening to me with people I thought I had long left behind in my past. I am just wondering what the benefit of doing this is? a) It feels cheap b) what does that say about you that you can’t produce an original thought? c) if you don’t have resources to steal from anymore, just who exactly are you? A collection of other people’s thoughts? d) why don’t you have enough self-awareness to realize what you are doing. Copying, stealing imitating = FAIL. You know who you are.
• I will be London-bound to visit my boyfriend in t minus one week! I’m excited, nervous, excited, happy, did I mention excited? Portobello Market and Covent Garden, here I come.
• I have been gathering up leads for the last two weeks, in an effort to send pitches out to magazines and other publications but I haven’t had a single moment to put together some cohesive ideas - this is when I really feel like there should be an eighth day added to the week, or better yet, the weekend.
• I’ve also been trying to put together ideas for an ezine I’ve been working on and a beauty blog, as well as trying to keep up with Margeaux Clyde and her journalistic endeavors. So. little. time.

Traffic Thoughts: Here, There and Everywhere

• After a year of driving in the heaviest of Los Angeles traffic, my patience with it is wearing thin. I realize how much traffic contributes to wasted time, stress and pollution. I realize that I really wish L.A. had adequate public transportation. I also realize that I love having my own car, I just cringe at thought of the amount of time I spend in it.
• I hate that I completely crash and burn on the weekends. I’m doing so much during the week, that when it comes to Saturday, even though I (still) have things to do, I just spend the better part of my day in or on my bed, watching things like When Harry Met Sally and The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Nene I love you) instead of cleaning out my car and transcribing interviews and writing. After two days, I feel refreshed and revived, only to start the process all over again.
• I also feel like I’m coming down with something. Every morning I wake up with a stuffy nose and a lingering feeling that I shouldn’t go to work. But I go, and drink Emergen-C while I’m there. I hope it’s working.
• I’d like to do absolutely nothing for an entire week.
• I am SO incredibly happy about the cold weather predictions this week. However, I am incredibly saddened and absolutely disgusted and horrified at the amount of empty-headed Los Angeles girls I will see in the next couple of weeks wearing black tights with those fugly Uggs. Ugh.
• I wish I was best friends with Chelsea Handler.

Traffic Thoughts: A Mish Mash of my Mind

• I bought myself a digital recorder this weekend. After years of carrying around a tape recorder, I thought it was time to switch to better technology. I’m in love with it. I took it with my to interview volunteer workers who were at a phone bank for the Obama campaign. If I ever record any super interesting interviews, I might put them up as podcasts.
• I can’t believe Halloween is this Friday. Where did this year go? Most importantly, what will I dress up as this year? I have a couple of ideas, actually.
• In continuing with my trend of upgrading technology, I’m in the market for a Nikon D40 and an external hard drive. I’ll most probably buy the D40 sometime this week. After years of trying to take good photos with my point and shoot Canon, this will be a nice change.
• I came across some “Yes on Prop. 8″ protesters near my house this weekend. Proposition 8, which is on the California ballot come Nov. 4, is basically proposing an amendment to the state’s constitution in order to ban gay marriage. As I was passing them by, I shook my head and them and yelled at NO. Of course, they were all above the age of 30 and had nothing better to do with their Saturday afternoons than protest someone else’s right to marriage. These people really make my stomach turn
• I wish I had the time and energy to decorate the outside of the house for Halloween, and make caramel apples and spooky desserts. Maybe when I have kids.
• I have been dying to go to Anthropologie for some much needed shopping for weeks. But I’m resisting. I’m resisting with all my heart, because I’ve got credit cards to pay off and bills. I will resist. I am going to resist.
• I would love to go apple picking, or any fruit picking really. Strawberries, especially. I’d love to bake an apple pie with apples I picked. Apple pie from scratch, even the crust. Can you think of anything better? Sometimes, I think I was Amish in another life. I’d bake my own bread if I could.

Traffic Thoughts: The Greek Root “Cirrh” Means Tawny or Orange-Colored…

…as in cirrhosis of the liver. Oh, the things you learn when studying for a horrible unnerving exam.

• They say it’s best when prepping for a test, to learn the roots of words, instead of trying to memorize words. Good strategy. I’ve got both bases covered, but with only a week left for the test that will determine the next year of my life or so, I think I might be reading the “Dictionary of Word Roots and Combining Forms” by Donald J. Borror a little more than “Essential Words for the GRE.”
• I don’t know what it is, but I feel slightly dirty when watching the junior 11-year-old dancers on “Dancing With the Stars.” Like I’m watching something I shouldn’t be. I want to turn away from the tv. I think it’s the way they move - like mini adults, but not yet adults. It’s weird. I thought I was strange, until I concurred with Nat and found out she felt the same way. Tiny children doing ballroom dances and gyrating like adults? Hard to watch and bordering on inappropriate.
• On Saturday, I’m attending the taping of an awards show for Spike TV. There’s a red carpet involved, but I didn’t feel like chasing celebrities down so that I could get their opinion on things. I will be at the event, reporting from the “live blogging” room. I’m a bit nervous, and a bit excited and a bit not.
• Joe the Plumber isn’t even a licensed plumber. He also owed back taxes. $1200 to be exact. Bring Joe Six Pack back. At first I couldn’t understand why Sarah Palin thought Joe Six Pack was synonymous with the common man. Does she honestly believe that normal men have six packs, I thought? Then I realized she meant beer. Then I thought, this woman is a bigger dimwit than I had originally thought.
• Before Joe was well, Joe Six Pack, he wasn’t only Joe Blow and Joe Schmoe (which by the way, comes from the Yiddish word “schmo” meaning simpleton) he was John Q. Public, a name used by law enforcement to refer to someone with no criminal background or motive.
• I’ve taken Emergen-C almost every day this week, followed by two Advil tablets once a day. Usually, I would not even take anything at all, because I hate putting extra pills in my body, but this week, I needed the drugs. And I needed them bad.
• If I was a television producer and Shonda Rhimes came to me and said, “Hey, I’ve created this show, it’s about these doctors who are emotionally stunted, sleep with each other, get involved deeply into each other’s lives and occasionally keep people from dying, what do you think?” I’d say, “Were you living under a rock for the last 10 years? ER already exists! Now get out of my office!” The point is, that if I was the one who thought of Grey’s Anatomy, the idea would already be in the trash bin of my brain before it ever reached the desk of a producer, because I would second guess myself so much in thinking that this is so not original, that I would can it. The lesson: stop second guessing yourself.

Traffic Thoughts: Politics, As Usual

• I heard John McCain proclaim that “We’re winning the war in Iraq.” I am just so confused by this statement, because there is nothing to win. There is stability to create and infrastructure to build and troops to get out, but I just have this sickening feeling that Republican ideology is always “us” against “them.” The “them” could be Democrats, a Middle Eastern country or people who believe in the right that a woman should have a choice about what she decides to do with her own body.

• Then I read that Lynne Spears, Britney and Jamie Lynn’s mother spoke out about the hypocritical treatment Jamie Lynn received when she announced her pregnancy, compared to Bristol Palin, who was touted in the media, well, conservative and right winged media as a great girl with a fantastic mom who understands and accepts the responsibility of having a child at 17-years-old. It’s really disturbing and it just shows you how deeply ignorant and hypocritical and self-serving these people are. Here is an excellent clip from the Jon Stewart Show with King of the Ignorants, Bill O’ Reilly, praising Bristol and Sarah Palin, while damning Jamie Lynne and her parents to hell. It’s quite entertaining.
• Then I heard Barack Obama speaking to a crowd of journalists today about his decision to move forward with the debates while McCain is in favor of postponing them so that he can focus on the economic crisis at hand. Can’t multi-task there, John? Wow. And there are people actually voting for this man.
• Then I started thinking about how I feel about writing about politics on this blog. As journalists, we’ve been trained to keep an objective view on all things. We must not get involved. We must remain neutral. When I write about politics in here, I don’t think it really matters, because a) no one is really reading and b) I’m not a reporter who is covering either candidate on the campaign trail, so I’m allowed to have an opinion.
• This election means so much to me, that I don’t even want to speak to anyone who is not voting for Obama. This election is about my generation, about my future children’s generation, about the people in this country who cannot afford to take their sick children to the emergency room or feed their families. This is about the families in Iraq who are struggling with the same problems because of the decisions one idiotic and ignorant man made to invade their country and tear up their land. I have had enough of it and I think everyone around the world has had enough of it.
• The difference between someone who votes for John McCain and his pig with lipstick, Palin and someone who votes for Obama and Biden is that, the latter actually cares about the needs and values of other people, while the former only cares about themselves.
• The forefathers of this country, at least in theory, had the right idea. They wanted America to be a place where you could live in peace and succeed in life, no matter what creed, color or race you happen to be. To think that after 200 and some odd years, that there are still people in this country who think Barack Obama is a Muslim and that’s their reasoning for not voting for him is just MIND BOGGLING. These people need to be all stuffed in a trailer home and sent out to sea.
• Then the traffic started breaking up and I was almost home free, so I actually had to concentrate on the road. Time is ticking. The actual election is almost upon us. Sometimes I stay awake and night wondering what it’s all going to be like. I can’t wait for the day to come that I can walk into a voting center and mark a dot next to Barack Obama’s name. Si Se Puede!

To and Fro, That’s the Way Life Goes

Today was a terrible day for traffic. I know that sounds redundant, but to give you an idea of how bad it was, I left my house at 7:40 a.m. and got to Santa Monica at 9:10 a.m. I doubt it will ease up before January, as school is in session and the holidays are coming up. One thing is for sure, if I can get Halloween off, I am. Last year, it took be three hours to get home. Three hours. THREE HOURS. I could have been in Mexico in that amount of time. Coming back home tonight was slightly better, if you consider an hour and 10 minute drive for 34 miles better. After doing this for almost a year, I would consider that a good day.

The heat is easing up. I was slightly “cold” while I drove this morning, a miracle in Los Angeles. I thought about how deeply I’m contemplating moving to Europe if I come upon news that John McCain has become  President, how annoying I find the names “Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac,” how much nicer the 405 would be without any cars on it and how badly I want a cup of tea and a blanket right at this moment.

It still ceases to amaze me why traffic exists. I’ve read the science behind it, yet I still don’t understand it. The roads don’t change. They don’t get smaller or bigger, so unless there is a major accident backing up cars, I don’t understand why people just can’t accelerate and drive. Don’t they want to be home soon? I don’t buy the excuse of too many cars being on the road because as I said, the roads always stay the same. The days are getting shorter and I am not looking forward to being stuck in traffic in the dark.

I made it home, as I do every day. All the stress of driving, the stupidity of Los Angeles drivers, all the unnecessary stops and gos, they all melt away when I get to my doorstep and a 6lb Maltese named Henry greets me like he hasn’t seen me in 10 years.