My last post sounded cryptic, I know, but recent revelations needed some time to soak in the crevices of my life before I could type them out.

The gist of it, in the most simplest of terms, is that I quit my job. In media. In a bad economy. Please cue the firing squad.

For three years, I worked as an editor for  a new media site, copy editing, fact-checking and manhandling a bevy of freelance writers. Some of my proudest work appeared in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and a few Hearst newspapers.

After hours, I freelanced for local and national publications, adding 20 hours to a 40 hour work week. Then, I decided that it wasn’t enough. Along came 20 more hours of sweat and tears put into my own publication.

And so I went along, with my days bleeding into each other, until that funny little thing that all journalists possess took over me: intrepidity.

The fear of no work and therefore no money in a bad market was gone. The need for stability disappeared. Everything I had known for years, from high school to college, to this job, became clear: I am a journalist. I live and breathe headlines and nut graphs and slideshows. Nothing excites me more than a good article. I am at my  happiest when I’m chasing a story. I am journalism and journalism is me, for better or for worse.

So, I handed my notice, left my salary and a truly amazing group of people to venture into the unknown, where the ratio of journalists to jobs is shocking. May the force be with me, I know.

Here I am, in a knitted bobble hat and sweats, sipping on Iranian tea (Sadaf, if you’re curious) in my KCRW mug, on my first official day without a salary. I turned in a story, starting work on another and gave my dog a bath, but mostly, I outlined on a piece of paper I stole from the printer my POA, or plan of action, if you will. Story ideas, trips abroad, grants, fellowships, you name it, I’ve written it down. Much of the page is taken up my outlets I want (need, must) write for, including the Guardian, Global Post, EurasiaNet, California Watch and the Los Angeles Times (hello, is it me you’re looking for? yes, yes it is.)

Why did I do this?

Because I still believe.

I believe in journalism. I believe in it maybe to a fault. When you believe, nothing else seems to matter.

I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, in a month or a year from now, but I do know this: I am going to give this industry everything I’ve got, because it can’t be removed from my core. And if you love something enough that it fills your core, pursue, pursue, pursue. The hard work has to pay off. It just has to. Fear and courage run on a thinly veiled line, so choose wisely.

2011 is going to be an adventure filled with pitches, bylines, self-discovery, love, highs, lows, travel and the pursuit of happiness. I leave you with this quote:

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive – Howard Thurman

Love, The Human Journalist, newly minted enterprise, investigative and international reporter.

Hello.

Journalists (well, most of them anyway) tend to shy away from any type of self-exposure, including myself. It’s about the STORY, not about YOU – that’s what we’ve been told over and over again by journalism professors and editors and publishers, and rightfully so. It’s not about us, it’s about those we report on.

So you can understand the hesitation and anxiousness I felt when I decided to post the above photo of (gasp!) myself, but I’ve grown tired of feeling that way.

I have been wondering what to make of this blog ever since I started writing in it. I’ve written about baking bowling ball cakes and print newspaper consumption in Europe and my love of  kitsch, not fit for consumption movies like “Love is All There Is,” and why I hate and love Los Angeles all at the same time.

I’ve described how I must be the only person on the face of the Earth who can’t have a blood test because of impossible to find veins and how I wanted to crawl into a hole and die when I found my first white hair and documented Henry the Maltese’s entire knee surgery (the one section of my site I get the most emails about).

I’ve agonized over the very thing all young writers agonize about – having a career doing what they love and at the same time felt like all my journalism dreams were coming true.

I have complained, whined, explained how beautifully baking calms me down, highlighted some of the articles I’ve worked on over the last year and also probably talked a lot of crap.

I’ve done all this while wondering – what the hell am I writing about?

I always feel like I’m all over the place when I write here, which I guess is an accurate reflection of my life at the moment.

I want everything at once. And as such, I want to write about everything at once. And that’s why if you browse through the posts on these pages, you’ll find everything from pumpkin muffins to musings on the 2008 presidential election and recaps of Bollywood films.

For a very long time, I’ve wrestled with what to write here – the self-loathing and criticism that comes with being a writer is no exaggeration, believe me. I have stared at so many blank posts, only to write a few lines and delete the entire thing. I wasn’t wasting any paper, but it still felt like a waste.

And so, I was driving (more like standing still) on the traffic infested freeways of Los Angeles when it finally occurred to me what this blog was and should be about: The Human Journalist.

You might be thinking,  huh? what exactly is a journalist if not human? Well, according to this UK poll, being a journalist was recently regarded as the third most untrustworthy profession – so to some, I’m sure “journalist” is synonymous with Beelzebub.

Many people tend to think of journalists as soul-less leeching creatures who are always on the chase for their next story, no matter what the cost. And while I haven’t run across this too often in my career, there are times when I’ve felt the deep-seeded hate.

Today was one of those days.

I called a source to fact-check a few paragraphs of information and within the first few seconds of speaking to him, I knew he was going to lash out at me.

“Is that how you people operate?” he said to me in a condescending tone. “Is that how you work?”

Uncalled for kind sir, uncalled for.

A few months ago I was on a phone with a woman, trying to explain that I was in search of some information for a story and she cut me off and started explaining that the way I had approached her on the phone was all wrong.

“Don’t they teach you how to properly talk in journalism school?”

She went on and on, belittling me, refusing to answer questions, but I carried on and finally got what I needed out of her, while dreaming of ramming the phone all the way through the line and up  her nose and then going across the street to the bar to get a shot of tequila and cry. And I don’t even drink.

I guess what I’m trying to say, in the most roundabout way, is that my entire life I’ve been trying to find the central part of what ties all the other parts of me together. It would be easy and almost lazy,and not even  entirely true to say  that it’s my ethnicity that’s at the core of my being. Being Armenian is a huge part of who I am, but it would be unfair to say that it is the one thing that completely effects all other areas of my life.

But what does effect and infects its tentacles into all parts of my being, is journalism. It has always been my core, the one thing that I remained certain about above all others, throughout adolescence and high school and college and ‘the real world.’

It makes me feel alive.

And so in an effort to finally unify this blog under one concept, put a soul behind the third most untrustworthy profession and use this truly as a comfortable space to not only express my ideas, and half-ideas, but to connect with others, I’m now The Human Journalist. I write, I bake, I dream about seeing my byline in the L.A. Times and NY Times, I love kitsch, awesomely bad movies that would make any film critic lose respect for me. I love Los Angeles, but I’m not afraid to say I hate it too. I want to write about the problems this sprawling landscape has, and meet some amazing people in the process. I want to craft words together for my stories as beautifully as my grandmother strings together the thinnest of yarns for the winter cardigans she makes.  I want journalists to be respected and acknowledged and not underpaid. I want to write feature stories that have the potential to make someone stop and think, “Huh. That was interesting.” I want to see all the hard work I put into an investigative story and say – I really made some kind of dent in the world.  I want to be able to make other people feel the way I feel when I read stories from my favorite writers.

I want to feel (virtually) alive. And I want to bake some amazing desserts to reward myself with.

So here I go. This is an experiment into the human side of a journalist – about her wants and dreams, about her likes and dislikes, some of which have nothing to do with journalism at all and about discovering herself on this torturous yet rewarding path that only a crazy person would purposefully choose.

This is place where I’ll probably do a lot of what I was doing before, but without any fear or anxiety – and for a writer, to write without either the former or the latter is complete and utter peace.

I am intrepid, see me write. And of course, welcome.

Photo by socraticgrant

Daily newspapers have a long history of endorsing candidates for office, whether that may be for governor, or in this year’s case, for president. As the race winds down between Democratic hopeful Barack Obama and Republican nominee John McCain, Editor & Publisher has published an updated tally of print media outlets across the nation endorsing the candidates.

Overall, The Obama-Biden ticket has the lead with 121 newspapers total, with an over 13.5 million circulation. McCain and Palin have the endorsements of 42 newspapers, with a total circulation of 3.8 million. Here in California, Obama has won the support of 23 newspapers, including The Fresno Bee, The Los Angeles Times, The Los Angeles Daily News, The Modesto Bee, Pasadena Star-News, San Francisco Chronicle and San Jose Mercury News. John McCain has the support of five newspaper in California, including the San Francisco Examiner (seriously?) and San Diego Union-Tribune

Interestingly enough, the three top circulated newspapers in the country, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times have not endorsed anyone. Peculiar…very peculiar. I don’t particularly read USA Today or The Wall Street Journal, but as you might have guessed from reading this little blog I keep, that I am a New York Times nut. In the case of the NY Times, it’s a bit strange they haven’t endorsed anyone, particularly because the commentary in the paper is more or less a dead give away that they support Barack Obama and because in 2004′s election, they publicly endorsed Democratic nominee John Kerry. And don’t forget that they came out in support of Hillary Clinton during this year’s primaries as well.
Barack Obama’s official site does have a list of newspapers that have endorsed his bid for the presidency, and also some excerpts that are very eloquent and so well written, that I would like to highlight just two of them here.

From the Los Angeles Times:

The Times without hesitation endorses Barack Obama for president. But as the presidential race draws to its conclusion, it is Obama’s character and temperament that come to the fore. It is his steadiness. His maturity…In fact, Obama is educated and eloquent, sober and exciting, steady and mature. He represents the nation as it is, and as it aspires to be.

From the Boston Globe:

The nation needs a chief executive who has the temperament and the nerves to shepherd Americans through what promises to be a grueling period – and who has the vision to restore this country to its place of leadership in the world. Such a leader is at hand. With great enthusiasm, the Globe endorses Senator Barack Obama for president. The charismatic Democrat from Illinois has the ability to channel Americans’ hopes and rally the public together, at a time when the winds are picking up and the clouds keep on darkening…An early Obama campaign slogan declared, “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.” His critics deemed such rhetoric too ethereal. Now it seems prescient, as the nation confronts a financial crisis of historic proportions, as well as all the other policy failures and debt-fueled excesses of the last eight years. The United States has to dig itself out. Barack Obama is the one to lead the way.

It’s interesting that newspapers feel the need or desire to endorse potential presidential candidates. In a profession where objectivity rules overs subjectivity and fair and balanced is the ultimate goal (Sorry Fox News, you fail at your own motto), should newspapers endorse candidates? Is it there place to do such a thing? Or are they meant to provide you a service of news without injecting opinions in it? What is accomplished by endorsements? Are people really swayed by their respective newspaper’s decision to endorse a candidate?

These are important questions to be asking. My particular feeling about the matter is divided. I love seeing the publications I read take a stance on issues, at the same time, I feel that remaining neutral is completely respectable and credible. One thing I can tell you, is that even though it’s not Nov. 4 yet, history has already been made in so many ways. As far as newspapers are concerned, it is interesting to note that that the Chicago Tribune endorsed Obama, the first time the paper has endorsed a Democrat for president. In another move of epic proportions, the Los Angeles Times’ endorsement of Obama marks the first time the paper has endorsed anyone for president since 1972. Even Esquire magazine has gotten in the game and endorsed Obama!

Two more weeks. Just two more weeks.